Thy light's flame with self-substantial fuel

Well, it seems I definitely have the self-discipline of the average OxyContin addict.  I had the phone in my hand and couldn't help myself.  I called her, it was dinnertime, so I guess I shouldn't be surprised I got her machine.  I can quote myself exactly:

Hi. I'm on a hillside with a beautiful view of the city.  It's a different hillside and a different view but I thought of you and ... I wanted to hear your voice.

Which was all true -- just listening to her recorded message, my heart, penis, and tear-ducts all got very enthusiastic about doing their respective jobs -- but that doesn't mean I should have told her.

Re-reading my written resolution, I realize I am technically within the guidelines:  it had been almost 26 hours since I had last communicated with her, more than a literal "day".

It's strange.  I'm actually doing well in the cool thing with other women.  I've just been checking out women I like, trying a much lower-temperature persona, and they seem to respond.  With Catherine, though, I having a much greater difficulty keeping myself from boiling over.

Partly, it's because I know she responds to enthusiasm (she several times mentioned that specifically) and she's easily hurt by indifference (ditto), so however cool I may be, I need to not be cold.

Much more, it's just that I like her so damn much.  She's got the kind of body that when I see, I'm dying to touch; her face is just cute as a button;  I've decided she looks more like Janine Turner than Selma Blair, although there's a lot of Blair there too.  Plus, she's really sweet.

OK, I don't know whether other people will find this as moving as I did, but when we were in the car, she told, "Put your hand on my twat."  She was laughing when she said it, but she meant it, and not in a dirty way; she just wanted to be touched.

She's really all I could ask for, except just a little bit closer geographically.  And even that's not true.  If she were closer, I'd really be making a fool of myself over her.