1 post tagged “practical joke”

What's the best practical joke you've pulled or had pulled on you? 
Submitted by Mike Schwartz.

I was in a very crowded elevator with (among many others) Kenny and Meredith.

Kenny I really despised.  He thought he was the shit, worked out a lot, wore tight shirts to show off his muscles, always flirted with the women in the office, and the women who blew him off he would call lesbians behind their backs.  On this particular elevator ride, I watched him snake his arm through the crowd to cop a feel off Meredith.

Meredith did not actually like Kenny, but she was the kind of woman who would tolerate stuff like this, she liked the validation or something.

Anyway, I could see all this because I was standing right next to her, pushed up against her by the crowd.  Kenny, on the other hand, couldn't see what he was doing, his arm was behind him at a funny angle and he'd only found Meredith's backside by luck.

The idea and the execution came at the same moment.  I leaned over and hissed in his ear, "Kenny, get your hand off my ass!"

He wouldn't have reacted any faster if I had jabbed him with an oyster fork.  He jumped away so hard he slammed against the people in front of him, by the door.  He and several other people lost their balance, but it was too crowded for anyone to fall.

And Kenny was so freaked out, he continued to thrash around, squashing more people against the walls of the elevator.  Fortunately, the car arrived at a floor and the doors opened and everyone spilled out and scrambled to their feet -- except Kenny, still stunned by some mixture of shock, shame, and homosexual panic.  He lay there half in the elevator, half in the lobby.

I stepped over him, looking down.  He shot me a look of confusion, merging with pure hate as he figured out I had tricked him.  I walked on to my office, and I never saw him again.