1 post tagged “presidents day”

What makes a good President of the United States?

My vote for the best president of the US, ever?  William Henry Harrison.  Did he raise taxes?  No.  Did he order people to spy on his political opponents?  No.  Did he agitate for huge increases in spending on people who vote for him?  Did he perjure himself?  Did he make me embarrassed to be a citizen of what is, in fact, the greatest country on Earth?  No, no, no.

What did he do?  He dropped dead.  He caught cold during the inauguration and went tits-up in a month.  Good goddamn riddance.  No president has had the grace to die in office since Kennedy -- and even he didn't do it voluntarily like Harrison.  FDR only gave up the ghost after wheeling his rotting carcase to Yalta to sell Eastern Europe into Uncle Joe's ever-expanding slave camp.  Pathetic, really.

I guess the moral of the story here is to vote for McCain.  He's what, a 100 years old?  With a little luck, he'll croak the moment he staggers into Oval Office, from sheer self-satisfaction if nothing else.

I can hear what you're saying now: sure, Obama is young and healthy, but there has to be at least one syphilis-ridden gap-toothed cracker with a Mannlicher-Carcano and an inferiority complex out there.  Nah, good old boys can't shoot for shit any more.   Take my advice: Vote Old.